Bars : USA : OH : Cleveland : The Velvet Tango Room
About The Velvet Tango Room
Our owner is a man of mystery. After escaping from an
unnamed country in Eastern Europe, he travelled to South America. Gradually, he
made a name for himself in the tango bars of Buenos Aires, but when a price was
put on his head by a jealous husband, he stowed away in the hold of a freighter
he believed was headed to Marseilles.
The ship finally put in at the Port of Cleveland. The gritty
ambiance of the rusting city appealed to his aesthetic sense, and he decided to
realize a long-cherished dream and open up an authentic cocktail lounge. We've
been here ever since.
The Velvet Tango Room Review By Bryce R. : Brunswick, OH
The Velvet Tango Room, or VTR for those In-The-Know (like I
be), is one of the best damn bars in Cleveland and earns 5-stars for music,
drinks, and the setting-individually. So, I actually give this place 15-stars
#humblebrag
When a buddy of mine, a VTR regular, suggested we go to the
"Velvet Tango Room", not knowing it was a martini bar, I thought for
sure I was going home with glitter and spray-tan clinging to every fiber of my
clothes and the night would end with vases being thrown and divorce papers
being signed. (Side note: we only have one vase and it was a wedding
present). I'd say the only attribute which earns the VTR less than
5-stars is the surrounding neighborhood which, if I was ever in a shoeless bind
but I happen to have my trusty 40-foot ladder nearby I could win the "Random
Shoe Lottery" played at any of the local power lines.
When I entered the VTR it lacked (but I didn't miss) the
clientele I was used to from other bars I frequent. In place of the local
crazy person who never sits down and shakes everyones hand while walking out,
just to return mere moments later to scream at everyone there was a row of
friendly middle-aged couples wearing business suits; in place of the usual table
of bikers who have given up on life's ambitions after their 3rd and 4th DUI's,
at the VTR you find a group of 30-something men, also wearing suits, laughing
about the money they're making (like over $10/hour!!); and in place of the
60-year old woman with the undesirably low-cut shirt putting quarters in a
jukebox to listen to music nobody cares about, in the corner there's a live
jazz band that immediately makes you feel cool and realize you have an old
soul, requesting Dave Brubeck.
Barring the convulsion you may feel to vodka because of your
college drinking days, now even a whiff kills the strongest of buzzes, it is
IMPOSSIBLE to order a bad drink at the VTR. Everything is homemade,
fresh, and tasty. To say you feel first-class while drinking at the VTR
is an understatement.
To prove my point I found myself in the following
conversations during my first visit at the VTR:
1. Never flying commercial. Because why would you ever
want to sit with poor people while you partake in the miracle of flight? Eck
#ammirite
2. Yachts: Spellcheck is the only reason I know how to spell
that word, for those unfamiliar it's a boat for rich people that sinks less
than poor people boats.
3. Shopping in Dubai: I always imagined shopping in
Dubai was: "What kind of sand/ oil do you want", turns out it's more
like: "Sir, will you want a diamond jacket with your dragon skin shirt?
Because we actually found a dragon, which is super rare, killed it, and made a
sweet shirt out of it? Diamond jackets go perfect with it."
Well, regardless, I felt like the 1% for one night, thank
you VTR.
Bottom line: the band was awesome and they're the best
martinis in the city. Nuff'Said.
Contact The Velvet Tango Room
Address 2095 Columbus Rd., Cleveland, Ohio 44113 | Phone
(216) 241-8869
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